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‘Should I just quit?’
A question every person asks themselves at some point during their adult life.
This could be about a job, a relationship, or even a gardening project.
Of course, that perpetually motivated (and slightly sadistic) part of your brain immediately wakes up and starts spewing clichéd phrases like –
“There are no failures, only quitters” and “Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”
But is quitting really such a bad thing? Is perseverance the only road to success?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of perseverance. We wouldn’t have a Dhirubhai Ambani or a Walt Disney without perseverance. But would the cost-benefit analysis of every situation always result in favour of perseverance?
Let’s take the example of Bill Gates. The co-founder of Microsoft. The man who was, until quite recently, the second richest person in the world. But did you know, before Microsoft, Bill Gates had another venture – Traf-O-Data.
The purpose of the company was to read raw data from roadway traffic counters and create reports for traffic engineers.
While the company did achieve medium success, the machine they built to process the data flopped. Instead of sticking through and making more of it than they could, Bill Gates and his partners decided to call it quits.
Had Bill Gates persevered with Traf-O-Data, he may have seen some success, but the chances of him coming up with anything as big as Microsoft would’ve been slim, and I would’ve been typing out this article on Notepad instead of MS Word.
While perseverance is important, there are certain situations, where quitting may be the better option.
But how do you know when it’s time to quit and re-align your goals?
Introspection and pro-con lists work great up to a certain extent, but your proximity to the situation, external pressure, and biased point of view make it harder for you to re-evaluate your path.
By my second year in law school, I knew I was in the wrong place. I didn’t fit in with my intensely competitive peers and the work wasn’t creatively stimulating enough for me to stay interested. Then why did I stick on for 3 more years, write my bar exam, and work at a law firm before deciding to quit? Because I had decided on my goal to become a lawyer years before? Because I was concerned with how my parents would react to my change of mind? Because I didn’t know what the alternative to my chosen field was?
It’s times like these when an outsider’s perspective may be of great value. A community of your peers that have gone through or are going through similar experiences can help put your situation in perspective. A coach can help you dissect and analyse your goals, and help you get back in sync with your purpose.
While this journey looks unique to each person, we can map out 4 broad steps to get you thinking. 30% help from your community and coach + 70% introspection should take care of the rest.
Let’s say you want to quit your job. You’re frustrated and are constantly looking for reasons to not work.
What is triggering these emotions?
Do you feel like you aren’t following your passion? Do you feel over-burdened? Do you feel under-appreciated? It’s one thing to know how you’re feeling. It’s a completely different ball game to find out why you’re feeling a certain way and if that’s worth quitting over.
Once you’ve decided to quit, it’s very easy to come up with reasons to validate your stance. Often, you need the help of an objective and non-judgmental third party to help you put your reasons into perspective.
Let’s say you’re feeling over-burdened at work. Can this be solved without you having to quit? Will you be satisfied with work if your workload is reduced?
Coaches usually take you through a series of activities to help you introspect and answer these questions.
Coaching Activity – Energy Zappers – make a list of everything related to your situation that drains your energy. Now go through each point and check if this is an aspect you can avoid or overcome.
You’ve done some soul searching and have decided that you have valid reasons for wanting to quit. That’s great! So why not just go ahead and quit?
Unfortunately, life is never quite that simple, and all actions have consequences. What you need to do is to figure out if the consequences of whatever action you choose are worth it.
What is the cost of staying/leaving – financial, emotional, or otherwise? Does the benefit of quitting outweigh the cost?
There are 2 ways of answering these cost-benefit analysis questions –
1. Relative terms – your situation in relation to the people and circumstances around you
2. Introspection – sort out your priorities and feelings
The relative aspect of things will require research. Speak to peers and understand the market. Say you’re quitting your job and want to enter a brand-new career path. Will you be able to make the same amount of money as you did in your old job? Do the day-to-day functions of the new role appeal to you? What is the cost and process of undergoing this career transition?
Introspection can be done with the help of self-assessment activities that your coach will lead you through.
Coaching Activity – broadly define 3 fields – financial, emotional, and effect on others. You then proceed to list the cost and benefit you would incur in each of these fields if you stay on and quit your current situation.
One thing that is sure to make you feel better about quitting is if you have a goal in sight. This may be a refurbished version of your existing goal or a completely new goal. As long as you are able to visualise a future after quitting, you will be more confident with your actions.
A big part of defining your goals is based on understanding your passions. What makes you happy on a day to day basis? What principles do you feel strongly about? What gives you purpose?
These questions require a lot of self-awareness and insight. However, there are a couple of activities that will help you put your interests in perspective.
Coaching Activity – Make 3 lists – On your first list, write down the things that you’re good at. On the second list, write down the activities that you enjoy doing. On the third list, write down things that give you a sense of purpose. Where do the items on these lists intersect? That is your passion that will also make a viable career.
This is the step where a majority of people get stuck. While it’s relatively simple to talk about one’s reasons for wanting to quit and your passion projects, you need a lot more effort to put your words to action.
Several quotes say that say quitting is taking the easy way out. This will not hold if you’re quitting for the right reasons. Because quitting for the right reasons would mean putting your alternate plan in action, and that requires work.
Coaching Activity – Take a piece of paper and divide it into 4 sections. In the middle, draw an image of your goal. On each of the 4 sections, write down –
Populate these sections with your answers and convert this into an action plan divided into day to day tasks. Have an accountability buddy to help you achieve your goal.
And finally, understand that just because you quit something, that doesn’t mean you haven’t gained anything from it. As Bill Gates partner, Paul Allen, once said, “Even though Traf-O-Data wasn’t a roaring success, it was seminal in preparing us to make Microsoft’s first product a couple of years later.”